The lobby smelled heavenly of hundreds of white- greenish lilies. It was a big change from the smell of damp carpets from the previous hotel. The receptionist ushered me to the lounge cafe and placed an iced lemon tea and asked for my documents for checking in. Woww...that is friendly. I d say this is the best welcome I ve had after so long! It used to be that before I turned down the bed, Hyatt staff would come out from nowhere ( which was freaky) and placed a good night chocolate on my pillow with a stalk of deep red velvety fresh rose.
The service has deteriorated everywhere eversince the 97-98 financial crisis when every hotel decides that hey suckers you are paying a whole month grocery per night and we are keeping all of it for ourselves from now on, thank you. Oh, wait, except for JW Marriot In KL which actually washed my car . Maybe its astonishing appearance (or lack of it) was adversely affecting the (dis)repute of its clientele base. Nevertheless, I was pleased that they even took away my daughter’s panties ( then 5 yr old) whom she dislodged indiscreetly at the backseat and had been used jauntily and provocatively as a decoration for the rear window all the way from Kerteh to KL.
Bleary and puffy eyed , I headed to the engineering forum and thank God, after the first day , I actually began to understand what they were talking about. The lecture given by some Phil on some new implement was quite interesting ; something about a hard rod called a stroker that apparently could penetrate the hole in a downward motion and the spiralling head would actually enlarge the nipple...Hmmm..LOLLLL!. These jargons, are, of course the works of drilling engineers that have spent too many days on offshore remote oil platforms.
And talk about a bunch of people who won’t be impressed by a magician act! He was swaying some table off the floor while holding to the edges of the small table cloth. He did not receive even a clap for that one. Obviously everyone thought he must be holding some small wire somewhere similar to the ones that had been discussed at length ( literally) all day long.
The highlight of my trip is of course meeting my old school buddies that have magically not aged since I last saw them hmmm, in 1735. Upon bidding farewell I got almost anxious, thinking that, most possibly that i would never ever see these people again. And that is what I always think of well, dead people. Sorry that I word it this way, but similarly i never get to see them either. To think that if someone that is dear to me whom has died but somehow has been resurrected somewhere down in Perlis, I d think I would speed off to Arau or Jejawi or whatnot immediately at all cost. But that also would depend on the state of the body decomposition, of course. If it was very severe, i’d say there would not be enough land in the country for me to run away from!
The most amazing thing is that these friends remembered things that I did or things that I said that I would not imagine i ever would remember! It’s really interesting that they both remember me as this one happy go lucky laughing person when I always pictured myself as a loner. Eh, that was in college lah, come to think of it. The thing is that friends remember me in a certain way and it is damn perplexing somehow.
After the longgg chit chat with one of them today,( the loveliest person I have ever met in my life), I found myself a local spa. A thin Chinese man came out to give me a leaflet and I was so taken aback by his gold earring and decided that maybe this guy was more a pimp than a marketing arm and quite possibly he thought I was applying for some vacancy in his establishment. I retreated hastily and bought tons of food as the 5 star hotel I m staying in only sells things on the menu written of sthg like these: You are screwed, the nearest eatery is forty miles away therefore the cost of this mee goring mamak is going to be equivalent of one Gucci handbag ( ok, at least a fake one).
Like Carrie in the sex in the city, I also would like to sum up some words of wisdom from my short stint in KK.
1. Downtown KK smells like fish ( this is not a wisdom thingy but a fact)
2. The resort part of the sutra place should have tons of lilies in the lobby. Instead it was so dark and ghostly no one could pay me enough for me to stay there!
3. The business wing of the hotel should have a bidet, a praying mat, a praying time table, and we business ppl are normally impressed with gadgets, so that old tv should go . Coz it makes me feel that you are a poor hotel with poor management (Which is so sad especially when you have that nice vision and mission statements on your door cards)
4. Offer wireless internet for free because businessmen are normally tired men who surf porn.
5. Oh, don t give me some sweet candy when you come to repair the cold shower and that chocolatey watery gunk that come out from the bathroom faucet, I m diabetic!
6. And yes, I checked, there was no two way mirror n i walked naked freely in the room but the thought that I might die suddenly made me put on my clothes quite fast.
7. Oh yes, I got a five star treatment from my colleagues in KK n felt weird being placed at the head table as in the HQ , managers like me is in the thousands and I think ( the wisdom part) I should not get used to be respected so much and having such hi standards as whatever fringe benefits I have will be taken away once I m retired. On the other hand, I might as well enjoy them coz I may not last till retirement to agonize about it.
8. And after some shithead was rude to me I realize that it is awful not to be respected, so guys, pls treat ppl respectfully ( unless they are paedophiles, and murderers and the likes). Otherwise, you will have dozens of people tirelessly plotting on how to get back at you ( like what I have been seriously thinking these last few days).
9. Also, real kindness is the one given when the giver cannot afford to be kind as it is easy to be beneficient and loving while you are rich but would you let me eat half of your hagen dasz when it cost a bomb for that miserable cup?( How much would a bomb cost?)
Ok hanging on guys at home. I m coming home and I will have some body massage in Miri. Ciao!
5 years ago
