I was simply furious!

Whoaaa...thank God I still remember the password !
Blogging is so cooooool.... I ve been kidnapped by FB for so long. And suddenly I have an angst n nowhere to write.

Ergo, revisiting this abandoned blog. Noticed that I have been receiving guests from all over the world, you poor susceptible people...!

I am waiting for my transfer to be approved by the new big boss. The current one is freezing all transfers right now. I hate her with a vengeance. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to beg for a job u like and to finally able to bag it n then to be told that transfres r being frozen?

N so am I. Frozen at my workstation. Enough said.

Also I got furious over sthg very touchy. The subject of taking care of my mom. It s funny that I m mad about this and I cant figure out why exactly. I actually felt relieved she was with me at my home and I was glad I could take care of her in her old age. I felt happier and healthier somehow during her stay.

But when my sister keeps trying to unload my mom to me at the flimsiest of excuse when its her turn to do so, I just god MAAAD. Freaking mad. I felt exploited. I felt like making sure my sister knew how I feel. I wanted to teach her a lesson at reponsibility. After all, other members in my family actually dont quite enjoy having my mom at our house coz the responsibility of taking care of her falls on their shoulders as I am away at work most of the time. It s kind of not fair for me to agree to take care of her when I m forcing others to do so on my behalf.

The last semester break there was a ruckus over a shortage of room and my daughter is coming home again, a very happy occassion for me, but somehow overcame by my anxiety over Opah's suddenly being left at our door step by my sis. Plans had to be cancelled etc. I , myself, dont really mind but the others do. So, what to do???

The thing is, I kind of like seeing my mom pottering abt the place. It made me feel responsible, it made me feel like I was doing the right thing. It was like I was making amends for not calling or visiting or basically not being a dutiful daughter.

So, why am I so angry and saying NO, NO, NO to my sister's suggestion of sending my mom to my house everytime my mom feels bored at her house?

Becauseee...well, my mom will be bound to feel bored and lonely coz my sister always leave her behind to frequent malls and movies. So, my mom will always be dropped off to my place. Which, really , is not fair to the kids, the actual caretakers here.

But me, being bitter and angry I just told my sister off with so many things that I ve dredged from the past.

But in a way, I m glad because I ve always wanted her to know how I feel. My sister is clearly taking advantage of my family's commitment to taking care of my mom. The reason why she liked being with us was because we made sure somebody was always home to be with her. But it also meant that we had to cancel or postpone family events coz my mom is too frail to join. The point is, we postponed events hoping that when it comes to mys siter's turn, we could do it but the most infuriating thing was that my sister would bring her back after a day or two! My sister's excuse is that my mom was feeling bored.

I somehow feel that my sister designs it that way so that when my mom comes to my house, she would travel with her family. Her FB posts will be full of doing this n that n travelling here n there. Hah! Come to thing of that I m so sure she does that! The conniving fat b&%$#@!!!

And she has the cheek to tell me that I should be patient coz it wont be for long and giving all kinds of religious advice on how I should love n care for my mom! As if!

It s gud that I actually told her one simple solution to ensure my mom not to feel lonely is to do wat my family does wen we take care of my mom: stay home, postpone or cancel plans n for my sister it wud mean, missing her daily visits to malls, watching stupid malay drama at the cinema or her ikea weekly pilgrimage. And see how mad she will become if someone cheats on her turn to do so!

On the other hand, I m thinking of my poor mom...it s not that I dont want u Chik, I m teaching your other daughter a lesson. She is too spoilt and of course, it's your fault :p