Kuantan was a good break n as always, I missed the beaches. But after the third day, everyone was eager to get back home. I was contemplating finding a job in Kuantan. I want to be able to afford a bigger house and a shorter distance to beautiful places...sigh..

Anyway, nowadays I am quite hooked to Facebook, which has made me stationed at the laptop more often than usual.

Hm, now the school days start again. Zarith is somehow feeling dissatisfied at getting 7 As and not straight As as many of her friends did. She had registered herself and her brothers to the tuition centre herself yesterday, vowing to herself that she would do extremely well for SPM . When I went to buy Haniff his schoolpants, the shopgirl was asking abt Zarith's whereabout who used to buy clothes for her siblings, many times before. Secretly I harbour some guilt, for taking her out of boarding school. If she had stayed there, she would have gotten better results. Being at home, she had more distractions than she would otherwise would have as compared to being being secluded in a regulated environment.After her major surgery last year, she slowed down a lot and I didnt have the heart to pressure her. Before her results came out she asked me if I would be disappointed if she didnt get 8 As and I told her all that was in my heart.


That she had been the most responsible daughter one could ever have, that she is able to be close to her siblings and her parents in her formative years, that she s developing a very close bond to all of us, that I would be able to counsel her in so many areas. Those are the things that I want her to have when i took her out of boarding school. I have always been proud of her. She has been the tower of strength in my hours of difficulties... To me she is the most wonderful daughter one could ever have. Even when she becomes grumpy n revert to being a child as what she really is.

Often when I lay sick in a hospital bed, I was thinking about my mom or my siblings who never visited me. I was sure that if all of us had somehow grown up together and not sent off to boarding schools at 12, I would have some concerned brother and sisters by my bedside.My mom would somehow miss me and vice versa. I am very conscious of not ever missing my family and always putting roots at any new place I would call a home. I wondered if I would have made better decisions concerning my life if my parents were around. I wondered if my life would have turned out differently. I wondered if I would have become a better sister, a better daughter if I had stayed home. Sigh.. I just hope that my decision concerning Zarith has been a the right one.

It's time to cook lunch. Even blogging is a nice break. :)!!! Happy new year everyone. I made a resolution even before new year, actually. To make the best of my every day and to remember that every journey is a series of short distances....