Do I have the time to say i love you.....

I remember her very well. She was bustling around in her office and greeted us all in a breathless and cheerful way she always did as we came in. Aahh…you worry too much, she exclaimed after we told her that Ely had not passed any motion for the past few days. I was feeling slightly embarrassed as the last time we went to see her, it was about Ely’s purging for a few days. It was either this or that, but all involving bowel movement. I was also noting her quaint English accent and was distracted by that rather by the content of her speech.

She asked us to lay Ely on the day bed and she began massaging Ely’s tummy. Hmm… then she proceeded to open up Ely’s diaper and to both Talat’s and my chagrin, simply inserted her middle finger into Ely’s behind! Voila, that did it. Immediately after coming out of the doctor’s office, Ely pooped.

The memory would have been comical had it not been that the doctor was Dr. Haliza. Yes, the one who was found dead in the ravine. I pray to God that she did not suffer before she died.

What can I say, a few months ago, one of my former colleagues passed away. We were not particularly close. Our paths crossed in the corporate structure once and since then we had gone into separate direction for the last 9 years. He died one day after playing golf.

It startled me.

Because it began to strike me that these two people whom were going about their lives with no hint of facing death. No terminal cancer, no advancing old age…just two people going about doing things they had been doing the day before. Strikingly just like me.

Today could have been my last day on earth and I would not even know it. Would it be a day when I gripe about things in the office? Scolding my kids over house chores? Leaving my hubby without a goodbye kiss? Sulking still with my siblings for their past misdeeds? Been meaning to thank all my close friends but hasn’t got down to doing something for them? Not telling my mom how much I love her? Petty..petty..petty…Will people even remember me when I am gone?

Hence, this realization. That I must fill my today with everything meaningful and beautiful. InshaAllah…Hmm… I will go now and buy a few thank you cards for everyone! I will risk being told of buang tebiat…hehe!Ciao!